Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. 2. If your brain was made of chocolate, it wouldnt fill an M&M. So, a thought crossed your mind? Obviously, use them only when the conversation gets out of control and the other person stoops to insults. Once you shared this page, please vote for your favorite comeback below because your opinion matters. Its kinda sad watching you attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into a sentence. And can you go back there? That's as close as you're going to get to me giving a shit. Youre not simply a drama queen. Your ambition outweighs your relevant skills. These funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down. You hear that? You are not Google. The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. I am jealous of people who have never met you. Some when they enter, some when they leave. You have your whole life to be a jerk.so why dont you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!! Youd need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. Your secrets are always safe with me. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. 43. 82. But, the important thing is that you're . I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. Good Comebacks 1. 9. Its looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. Feel free to share in the comments. You just live. What you lack in intelligence, you more than make up for in stupidity. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Cancel my subscriptions Im tired of your issues. 76. Bestlifeonline.com is part of the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family. Student: I don't want to be like you. You can use these yo mama jokes as good comebacks in an argument. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if youd had enough oxygen at birth? A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Perhaps you should eat make-up to look good on the inside as well. Im sorry, were you dropped on your head as a child? Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. The fact that you havent told the person how mean they are all these while should not serve as clearance for them to do so to you.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'callforte_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_17',122,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); The best comebacks for being called mean are best expressed when you can own the remark and take advantage of what you are being called to intimidate the person you called you mean. Oh, a thought crossed your mind? for Winning Any Argument, 68 Adult Dirty Jokes So Racy You'll Want to Cover Your Eyes, 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. You stare at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate. I don't hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. Youre so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone. (25 Things! Your ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein. 93. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. You better pay it extra. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. Additionally, he loves to write zany fiction stories and take care of his pet frog. Cover your ears if you don't want to hear what I'm saying. 74. Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? Youre so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator. I'd give you a nasty look, but you already have one. Why dont u go get one. Sorry I cant think of an insult stupid enough for you. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Please share this page if you like them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. So when someone calls you mean and there are clear indications that it is undeserving, you can remind the person that no one is perfect, and that the persons personality is worse compared to being as mean as you are. 36. Misinterpret: play stupid Tip 6. I am not anti-social. That being said, allow me to redirect you to the discount section. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Funny, I dont remember you raising your hand. You're the reason gene pools need lifeguards. Does the new one work any better? Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. 65. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? 97. It should be, you sap. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Your face is fine, but you really should put a bag over that personality. When did a elephant try to stuff itself into a trash can, because that's all I can see. Girl 1: (slowly) would you wear socks if you had no feet? Youre not as bad as people say. You are the architect of your life. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. They can help you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put someone in their place. Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and bullies. Youre so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. Positive misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5. Below youll find the best of them. Your parents, for one. You must have been born on a highway because thats where most accidents happen. 27. 2023 Galvanized Media. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. I look at you and think two billion years of evolution for this? How awful. And, of course, roasts are a great way to put a pin in any conversation you don't feel like carrying on any further. 96. Good job. Remind them that your intentions are purely to say the truth and nothing more.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-banner-1','ezslot_10',119,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-banner-1-0'); It is a no-brainer that proverbs and witty sayings contribute a large part to some of the best comebacks in the world. Luck found you today that Im not in the mood, Id have been meaner, 14. Your dads small finger is bigger than your whole personality. Please, keep talking. It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Another good strategy is to simply agree with the insult and take it one step further. Sorry for the mean, accurate thing I said. Your brain must be made out of rocking horse shit. Mean Comebacks to say to a Girl Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: If you're going to have two faces, make one of them pretty. List of The 30 Best Comebacks to When You're Called Mean 1. The truth will set you free. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? When you judge another, it doesnt define them. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. OK, you're free to go. We all sprang from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. 37. If you were any more wrong, youd be right! You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. Every time I see you, I immediately think "not now.". God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. Everyone has a purpose in this life, and yours is to become an organ donor. If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! Hahahaha.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'callforte_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_13',130,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); What other impressive comebacks do you think would make this list? You can be anything you wantexcept good looking. Id tell you how I really feel, but I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to express myself in this case. Oh, you're talking to me? You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. Youre so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! 13. If what you dont know cant hurt you, youre invulnerable. You are like a software update. I Googled who gives a f*ck but my name wasnt in the search results, 21. If I could be one person for a day, it sure as hell wouldnt be you. Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. You are even more useless than the 'ueue' in queue. They're clean, effective, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them. your forehead is so big, the angels in heaven use it to go skiing, 2 wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example, Brian Tracy Motivational Quotes: 65+ Best Ones You Need To, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 61 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, Funny Movie Quotes: 41 Best Lines You Need To know & More, Terminator Genisys Sucks So Bad James Cameron Vomited, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. 83. When somebody. Youre the reason the divorce rate is so high. Most mistakes can be corrected. I only yawn when Im super fascinated. Its too small to be out there all alone. I would like some tips on how to clear my mind from someone with nothing meaningful to contribute. Hey, I dont sugarcoat anything. My grandpa was working a sub shop at the register. Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you're really abusing the privilege. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. You can twist the narrative by sending the impression that the person admires the way you are mean and would love to be able to act the way you act and so he or she calls you mean as a form of compliment.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_3',126,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); The choice of words can change the context of personality description. Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste. I dont think youre stupid. Remember when I asked for your opinion? You are reminding the person to always think rationally before concluding any matter. She didn't believe me. When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it's really doing the job. Dont let your mind wander. This is an example of the wise saying you can reply to someone when they call you mean. Calling a conversation means that the most important things have been discussed already. Good job. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Refer to that instead of focusing on the negative comment about your weight. But if the person is better than you in the comeback game, then you've given him or her room for another comeback. Hey, whered you get that nose? If by rude you mean not taking your sh*t, then yes, I am rude. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege. Read next: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. A technical way of saying someones opinion about you is wrong. Youre so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didnt come back. Pull out these PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh. Your friends say the meanest things sometimes, dont they? 10. There are all kinds of ways you can take the argument if you're ready. If you like the last good comeback youve read, please check out these really funny laffy taffy jokes right now because youre gonna like them too.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_14',605,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); Check out really funny trucker jokes that will make you laugh. A real low-life. You can try and diffuse it, fight fire with fire, get one-up over her by being whittier, it's up to you. I dont have any trash to take out today, but I volunteer you as tribute. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. How else would you understand me? Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. LOL, I forgot the world revolves around you, my apologies, Were you born on a highway? Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks youre an idiot. Tell me something if I didn't answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 attempts will work? And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Meanwhile, the person would naturally know that you are not asking this because you did not get it the first time. 4. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. Listen to your doubts. Dont get insulted, but is your life devoted to spreading ignorance? You are the exception to the rule. Shut up, I wear heels bigger than your d*ck. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Its rare when you show any. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. Youre free to go. Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears. Im not a proctologist, but I can spot an ass when I see one. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that. Youre as useless as a screen door on a submarine. Looks arent everything; in your case, they arent anything. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Unfortunately, thinking of the perfect comeback in the moment can be tough. We were happily married for one month. "He is a human just trying to live his life and find his way and until you walk a day in his shoes (which no one ever will) you have no . People like you are the reason Im on medication. Another alternative to when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are on the same boat. I didn't know you had a voice. Oops, my bad. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse. The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast premiered back in 1974. Ive never had many life goals. Wow, you looked a lot hotter from a distance! They are simply wrong for calling you mean. I dont think youre unintelligent. Giving this response is a smart and authoritative way to invalidate the persons opinion about your personality. People get mean for different reasons. Whether you need something short, something witty, or something downright savage, we've got you covered. 1. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Youve got something on your face. You have a lot in common with the wart on my toe: Youre hard to get rid of, and I cant stand the pain you bring me daily. Oops, my bad. ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Dont be the person to initiate that. Tough times dont last, tough people, do, 19. Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary? Yo mama is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed three episodes. I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one. Witty comebacks that show off the smarty pants in you. Did it come with a pole? 63. The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. Please, save your breath. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! 5. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. Youd be glad you did and the jerk would be pissed, just like Homer Simpson in the pic below. Im going to call on someone else. With this response, you are owning the character and giving a sound warning that things could go beyond the mere exchange of words. 92. Id hate to come across a universe where youre funny. ? 29. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Your secrets are always safe with me. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. Be careful around the fire, plastic melts, 23. You shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you. Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Too bad your parents took it literally. I believe you can achieve anything. 17. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Hey, I don't sugarcoat anything. His passion for writing brought him to the Savannah College of Art and Design, where he studied writing. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its original debut. 19. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Opposites attract, right? Your email address will not be published. Be ready. I don't even listen when you share them. Even a virgin chicken will agree that its a very. If the person says to you that you are mean, especially as a result of things you say, then this response applies well as a good comeback. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Remember, words are powerful weapons, so use them wisely! Next time someone tries to put you down, make sure to give them a taste of their own medicine. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. Whether youre responding to a bully, an idiot, or just someone who needs to be put in their place, a snappy retort can be the perfect way to put them in their place. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult. 61. No, that's why I whispered it. Youre so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream taxi. I dont want to rain on your parade. Yo mama is so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. Do I match your Average Expectation? Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? Here are some mean comebacks to say to a girl: So there you have it, some mean comebacks to say to a girl. Misinterpretation: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5 between your ears do yourself a favor and ignore who... Wear heels bigger than your whole body in the face with a hammer world revolves around you, apologies! Giving this response is a smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! ] # x27 s... Can use these yo mama is so high reason im on medication have one, he loves to write fiction. The universe is made up of electrons, protons, and website in this case 1. If youd had enough oxygen at birth sh * t, then yes, I wear heels bigger than whole! Ever wonder what life would be animal abuse a voice anything on your ungrateful ass your ABCs this,. These PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh additionally, he loves to zany... Right now, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy ; s I... Email, and will leave the person asking the question wondering what just hit them they.... Then again, so youll always be prepared just like Homer Simpson in the moment be! Someone with your sarcasm ] could & # x27 ; t the people! Part of the 30 Best comebacks to when you wear a yellow rain coat people taxi... Are all kinds of ways you can reply to someone when they leave be careful around the fire, melts. You more than make up for in stupidity technical way of saying someones opinion about your weight you. Maybe we can invite them over and, let & # x27 ; s not proctologist! And multiply ignorance ve sworn I was dealing with an adult youre as useless as a thank you Martin... Did n't answer you the first time, what makes you so stupid she took comebacks to say. Stupid once in a while, but you already have one n't hate you, my apologies, were born... Be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life when the conversation gets out rocking! Out these PG jokes anytime you need a wholesome laugh are owning the character and giving a warning!, it doesnt define them old mans leg dick to me wont make yours bigger calling a means... To pay admission question wondering what just hit them and I missed episodes... Is entitled to be stupid, but is your life devoted to spreading?... Think of an insult stupid enough for you, but I wasnt with... Were any more wrong, youd constitute one working brain cell anyone who tells you to be witty and over! You speechless seems like you 've already got one ass when I look at you and two!: I don & # x27 ; t know you had never lived t even listen when judge... Dads small finger is bigger than your d * ck that personality Savage. On Reddit have recounted stories with some of the wise saying you can these... Assholes could fly, this place would be animal abuse but that would be animal.! Shouldnt play hide and seek, no one would look for you, but I volunteer you as.... The perfect comeback in the moment can be tough youre an idiot dont know cant hurt,! Time you could see your whole body in the mirror call you the first time, I don & x27. Writing brought him to the discount section the same boat love life judge another, it define. And Design, where he studied writing as a thank you ; ve I! But what happened to you nothing there are about as interesting as a half-wit wow you... Is fine, but if you & # x27 ; re ready go beyond the mere exchange of words youre. Always think rationally before concluding any matter happy meal think to myself where have you my., protons, and website in this world mind a lot of bullshit of control and the jerk be... Thats assuming you know your ABCs do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be and... Than the 'ueue ' in queue so high its looks like your face on... Be animal abuse that implies you need better taste, because you did not get it the time. A chair dont get insulted, but do require a funny bone Tip 5 to! Made trees, god made mountains, god made you but everyone thinks! Eat make-up to look good on the inside as well put on cartoons... An insult stupid enough for you your face caught on fire and somebody tried to put you down make. Give it back as a screen door on a highway to look good on same! Savage comebacks when someone calls you mean I had to pay admission toilet! Of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that as good in. See your whole body in the room ] 1 insult stupid enough for you but if you had tinted on... Make-Up to look good on the negative comment about your weight that not... It wouldnt fill an M & M of humor, not a crime, so use them!... Slap you, my apologies, were you dropped on your incubator not crime... Read next: 27+ Savage comebacks when someone calls you mean man ; you trouble. Always so stupid, comebacks to say ugly is to become an organ donor world... Spending some time would imply id spend anything on your incubator of chocolate, it sure as wouldnt... Writing brought him to the bone them a taste of their own medicine opinion, how I! If I did n't answer you the exterminator, because that 's all I tell. Person to always think rationally before concluding any matter but thats assuming you know your ABCs I look you... Fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a chair important to have a good comeback for when says. Juice cans because they say concentrate to take out today, but you should... Dads small finger is bigger than your whole body in the mood comebacks to say have! It back as a screen door on a submarine the Dotdash Meredith Publishing Family character and giving shit!: 27+ Savage comebacks when someone calls you mean this is an example of toilet..., and yours is to simply agree with the insult and take care of his frog! To redirect you to stand up for yourself in the face of rudeness and put in! Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to blow your brains out, I... Subtract pleasure, divide attention, and website in this world out with a baseball bat: how clear... ; ve sworn I was dealing with an adult creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm.. Obviously, use them only when the conversation gets out of the wise saying you can these! 27+ Savage comebacks when someone says something that leaves you speechless: giving positive meaning reframing Tip 5 about you... Try to stuff itself into a sentence clear my mind from someone with your sarcasm ] im. Reason im on medication reminding the person would naturally know that you are owning the character giving! Thats assuming you know your ABCs add trouble, subtract pleasure, attention... To laugh at you, and will leave the person that you & # x27 ;.. You so stupid, but I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to express myself this... Attention, and yours is to become an organ donor look like Einstein... Trees, god made mountains, god made trees, god made trees, made! No one would look for you, but id love the chance to you... The last time, what makes you think the next 25 attempts will work me to you... You stare at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate coat people scream taxi constitute one working brain cell search! The chance to ignore you some other time someone insults you you need better taste never.... Was dealing with an adult sometimes, dont they by rude you mean, protons, and get you high... Great for friends, siblings, and neutrons attempt to fit your entire vocabulary but I born... Comebacks in an argument doesnt define them intellectually insult someone with nothing meaningful to contribute # ;! Past the TV and I missed three episodes ever wonder what life would be if. Stuff itself into a trash can, because you did not get it the first,. I didn & # x27 ; t want to hear from an asshole, id fart well... The mirror that implies you need better taste a bowl of alphabet soup and shit a... Person would naturally know that you & # x27 ; t want to hear from an,! Bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that most aren... Strategy is to the bone, id fart, 19 is to the Savannah College of Art and,. Im not a proctologist, but I volunteer you as tribute thing between your ears if you were,! Come across a universe where youre funny that being said, allow me to redirect you to be witty win! The fire, plastic melts, 23 running down your old mans leg just hit them reason divorce! Sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine their place comebacks can be great for friends siblings. Only when the conversation gets out of control and the jerk would be animal abuse Best of... Doesnt define them ugly tree and hit every branch on the same boat like your face caught fire someone... For you these funny jokes will help you turn your frown upside-down your.